Have you ever been in a situation where you felt pushed to the wall and it seemed like your blood was rushing through your veins and you were red hot with rage? What was that situation, how did you know that you were angry, and how did you deal with it? There are instances in life that one is bound to feel pushed to the wall. One of the emotions that may be experienced in such moments is anger. In such situations, people might say “Do not get angry” and other words to deter you from anger.
There is such a hadith that says;
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him):
A man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), “Counsel me,” so he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not become angry.” [Al-Bukhari]
(Hadith 16, 40 Hadith an-Nawawi)
While some might take such to be an invalidation of anger as an emotion, it actually, acknowledges that rage is possible and therefore, advocates for the healthy management of anger. It is important to validate the possibility of the existence of something for you to be able to deal with it. The downside of ignoring that can lead to confusion and a lack of understanding of what exactly one is dealing with. This automatically implies that it will pose a challenge to deal with something that you do not understand in the first place.
I was at a bus station one day and a vehicle was blocking the road. The driver behind this vehicle started hooting with subsequent ones following suit but it didn’t bear any fruit. Temperatures started to rise, especially because it was during the rush hours. A crowd formed. The other bus operators were on that driver’s case within no time. Insults were traded and if the driver had not moved the vehicle at that moment, believe you me, blows would have moved from different directions.
At the moment of anger, it appears that reason flies out of the window. The thought of looking at a situation objectively rarely happens. Therefore, when one feels that they might get angry or are starting to, there are some things that one may do to avoid an escalation of the same. Staying silent is a treasure in times of anger to avoid saying something hurtful beyond what the situation warrants that could lead to regrets later. Remember that words are powerful. Noticing signs in you that tell you you are getting angry can help in avoiding situations. For instance, the tone of your voice may change to loud and harsh, your heart rate may increase and breathing might be fast, coupled with sweating and others such as pacing around. People react differently and thus it is important to, over time, identify your indicators.
Knowing your anger triggers is an important way of avoiding situations that may cause anger beforehand. Of course, not all situations can be predicted. When faced with unforeseen situations, take a deep breath, excuse yourself if possible, and remember that silence is a virtue. Ask yourself whether it’s a fight that you need to engage in or if you are better off choosing to let it go.
